The Diary of Jane

My roomies tell me that I should introduce myself.

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 21:30:34 GMT

Hello, my name is Jane, and I am new here. I am living with Amanda and Paige. I really like it here because everyone has been really nice to me. I've met lots of new, fun people so far, and I can't wait to meet everyone! I feel like I know a little bit about a whole lot of people, because I have been reading this journal system. Everyone here sounds cool. Is "sounds" the right word? Because I don't hear you, I read you? I don't know. Picture me looking confused. This is only my fourth time EVER being on a computer (that I know of, anyway). Computers are complicated. Angelo took me to his compsci class and Dr. McCoy was saying all sorts of stuff that I don't understand. I'd like to, though. I've been visiting a lot of classes to see what I'd like to take, and I think I'm going to start regularly on Monday. Professor Xavier has been giving me tests to see which classes would be best for me. They think I'm older than most of the students, but I don't really know a lot. I don't remember my past. Well, I hope to meet everyone I haven't met yet soon, and I hope this is a good post. Thank you for letting me be here!

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Help?

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 21:27:17 GMT

I'm having trouble with the art project. I'm supposed to do something controversial, but I don't really understand what is controversial. I read about other art that is considered controversial, but I don't understand WHY. It all just sounded like art to me. Does anyone have any ideas?

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I think that I got it right.

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 21:17:11 GMT

Doc Samson said that I should use this space to talk about my feelings of recent events and get feedback from people about what THEY think about those recent events so I can better understand social norms, thus making me more confident. And, some other stuff. I forget.

So, there was a fire and it was scary. But I got to help out and that felt good. There was a little baby horse that was hurt and I felt really bad for it. I hope it is okay.

It was fun going out clubbing! Paige was being all silly about what she was wearing before we left. Amanda was being all silly about me having to wear leather before we left. I borrowed stuff and got to be dressed up. It was fun. I guess I really never thought about how clothes are like an artform/communication-thing before. I don't know how to express that thought.

I went to the meeting and joined Red X! I will get to learn all sorts of things about helping people. I'm very excited about this, because I think that I want to help people as a job. Maybe?

I also got to go out to the movies with everyone! It was great. And I met Bobby and we had ice cream and I absolutely ADORE ice cream. It was really cool, like Bobby.

Today was something called Easter, and there was also something called Passover before. One is about eating chocolate and the other is about not eating bread? I think there was stuff in my history book about them. They are like Christmas and the lighting-candles-holiday-that-I-can't-spell, right? I remember those from the institution, because everyone was sad. But Easter and Passover seem to be more happy, so that is good. Plus, my roomies gave me a chocolate egg with a cream filling!

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Glitter!

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 21:11:44 GMT

I just got out of class and wow, my room is all glittery! There is a little glow-in-the-dark moon on the ceiling over my bed and star confetti all over. And there is a cute little pillow with a cloud on it, and the cloud has a happy face! There is glitter EVERYWHERE (except for Paige and Amanda's beds, that's odd). Wow, this is really cool! I am all glittery!

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I can't sleep when I can't hear anyone breathing nearby.

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 21:09:29 GMT

I should be asleep now, I know. But I just can't. The last few days, all alone with Paige and Amanda gone was bad enough, but now I'm really worried, too. Amanda and Manuel are both sick and I haven't heard from Angelo and everything just seems. Dark. (Except for the glitter. It helps, and the glow-in-the-dark moon over my bed, too. Thank you, Clarice.)

It's scary out here, in the Real World. I didn't notice before, even with the fire and all, but it is. At the institution nothing ever really touched me because nobody really cared and I didn't really care about anyone else (and the drugs they gave all of us wouldn't have let us care anyway).

There are bad things in the world and I don't know what to do about it. I wish I could hug someone right now.

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I had the best time!

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 21:04:34 GMT

California was wonderful! Thank you thank you thank you Alison and Lorna!

I got to sit between Miles and Bobby on the plane ride and they taught me lots of games like Dots and Tic-tac-toe and Hangman to play! We met Lorna's parents and they were nice. Lorna and Alex were very cute. We went to Disneyland! There was a castle and a mountain and lots of people and pirates and ghosts and giant fuzzy creatures that weren't mutants and a whole shop full of candy! I got to wear my new bikini to the beach and it was warm and nice and the sunset was pretty and Bobby liked my bikini and I really liked California!

I got a bad sunburn, though. And now I'm kind of behind on studying for exams. But I had so much fun it doesn't matter!

What was this about an earthquake happening while we were gone? And what is this music that has Alison so excited?

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Music!

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 20:55:16 GMT

So, I've been thinking about music lately. Someone asked me what I liked -- I think it was Angelo? -- and, well, I don't know. I like some of Amanda's music, but a lot of it is not my type of thing. And Paige has some good music, but again, some of it I don't like. And I don't know what to call the kind of music I like, either. So I've been trying to find out more using the internet and I have discovered something REALLY COOL!

Did you know that you can listen to and even DOWNLOAD music from the internet!? Isn't that great!?!

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I have been thinking about friendship.

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 20:52:53 GMT

I've never had real friends before (insert standard disclaimer of "that I remember" here). Even my friend in the institution wasn't... well, he wasn't really all THERE, if you know what I mean, so we couldn't really be close. But here I have friends. Everyone here is so nice. And so, I don't know how to put this, so STRONG in their friendship. Definately THERE. You all care about each other, and care DEEPLY. And I care for all of you, too, even the people who I only know enough to nod to when we pass in the halls.

Caring enough to be blinded to dangers, to react without thinking isn't a bad thing, I don't think. I mean, it proves how deeply you can FEEL. The more you can feel, the more you can love, and there is never too much love in the world.

For instance, when she came back a few days ago, Amanda gave me the most wonderful present! It's a rose quartz bracelet and it's absolutely MAGIC. Not because of all the really cool properties it has that she explained to me, but because it was from HER, from my FRIEND. The bracelet is magic because it made me feel like I was floating on Cloud 9 (this is a pun, but it is also true).

There is also worry in having friends. And because friends can feel the love so deeply, the pain goes deep, too.

I hope everything turns out alright.

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I'm scared.

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 20:48:45 GMT

I don't know how to deal with this. I'm afraid that if I loose sight of anyone, they'll disappear, too. And I don't want to disappear, either.

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Tue, 21 Nov 2017 20:47:51 GMT

YAY!

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Yay!

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 20:43:47 GMT

Last night was great! After Miles Batman vanquished Lorna Poison Ivy and I, there was much candy! :-D Yay, candy! And I got to run around giggling hysterically like a maniac and it was all in-character because I was "the sexy girlfriend of a psychotic clown" and stuff! I like Halloween.

And I guess today is sort of my birthday, or at least my anniversery, because one year ago, on November 1, 2003, I was found. I officially have one year of memory! Thank you to everyone here at the mansion for making the vast majority of that year so wonderful. Today, there will be a mad dash by me through the halls hugging everyone in sight. This is a warning: If you do not wish to have hugs, hide. *g*

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Thanksgiving

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 20:43:10 GMT

I am very thankful that I am here, at the Mansion, with all of you wonderful people. All my friends make me happy.

I just wish that I knew who my own family was. This is a family holiday and I don't even remember who my family is, if I ever had one, if they loved me. It kind of hurts not to know, you know?

But last Thanksgiving I was in the mental institution, so being here is 100 times better than that. I love you all!

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